


They Didn't Know

by TheFlamingNymph



Series: Broody Porcupine Snapshots [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Children, F/M, Feels, Forgive Me, Here Lies the Abyss Spoilers, Loss of Parent(s), Reflection, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4337513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlamingNymph/pseuds/TheFlamingNymph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris reflects on the differences between Hawke and the Champion of Kirkwall. </p><p>One-Shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Didn't Know

Kirkwall saw a different woman than he did. A woman with a smile always quirking her lips, a quip always at hand, going into battle with a weary shake of her head. Always the right person in the wrong place and the right time, solving the problems by accident. Callous and rude, and occasionally greedy. Nothing stuck to her, no insults, no tragedies, no concerns. She didn’t worry, had nary a care. A woman who rather frequent the local tavern than get caught up in the politics her position demanded of her. A human woman that flaunted her status and took an exotic elf to her bed. A woman that had him as her own attack dog for those who presumed to much.

They didn’t see the way her shoulders sagged once she closed her door to the world. They didn’t see her brow furrowed and face pinched as she berated herself for her mistakes. They didn’t see the scars that crossed her body for every cause she took up. They didn’t see the woman who took her earnings to pay for her servant to learn to play the lute. They didn’t see the woman who homed a dwarf and his son more for the companionship than the services they offered. They didn’t see her sobbing into that one cup too many at the end of the night for the things she couldn’t save. They didn’t know the three years of silence in which she held her emotions until he was ready to speak. They didn’t see the care she took in teaching him to read, a great labor of effort to correct a small mistake her her judgment. They didn’t see the care she took with her lover. They didn’t know how the first move was always his. How she shifted and teased until he acted, always wanting it to be his choice, his comfort, after years of servitude. How even in the heat of passion she was aware of him, and her hands fisting into sheets instead of the sensitive lines of his markings. They hadn’t seen how hard her hands had shaken on her small knife, before setting the mage free, unable to kill someone she once called friend.

They didn’t know how hard it hit her when their paranoia drove them from her home. They didn’t know the weariness in her at being a refugee, yet again. They didn’t know her pain at leaving behind her best friend, the rogue of the crossbow. At leaving her oldest friend, the captain of the guard. At leaving the timid elven girl with her lute, at leaving the kindly dwarven man and his son, who had become a second family to her. They didn’t know the weight she carried as they ran. They didn’t know the shabby inn their daughter was born in,

They didn’t know how she had left them both in the dead of night, unable to let the world suffer under something she felt was her fault. They didn’t know she left like that to ensure their daughter had a parent left to her, should the worst happen. They didn’t know of the tear-stained letter left where she should have been laying.

They didn’t know of her sacrifice. They didn’t know she had left herself behind so the world could have it’s Inquisitor, it’s savior. They didn’t know of Varric’s letter, stumbling over the words in a clumsy way not known to the dwarf. They didn’t know of the smaller letter, in her handwriting, addressed to the toddler at his feet.

They knew the Champion, in her haggard armor with her twin daggers, but they did not know the woman, the daughter, the sister, the lover, the mother, the person underneath it all.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. I really sat down wanting to write Fluff, but... but then this happened. I really feel it captures a quick snap shot of the kind of relationship my rogue Hawke (Raisha) has with Fenris, and a good look at how she is as a person. Though I think in most of my world-states, she survives, I wanted to explore if she didn't. 
> 
> Constructive Criticism and Comments always welcome, kudos make me squee like a madwoman.


End file.
